December 2009
44 posts
On mom's boyfriend.
I hate my mother’s boyfriend. He’s lived in my house for years now, and he’s not moving out any time soon. He treats me like shit and mom turns the other cheek or makes excuses. But I wouldn’t want her complaining if I had a boyfriend that she didn’t like. What do I do?
If you had a boyfriend that treated your mom like shit, you can be sure she would complain. More...
On dating that guy in that band.
I’m dating this guy from a semi famous band openly. my friend was looking through my texts, and found out about it, gasp. she thinks i’m being ‘taken advantage of,’ am ‘one of many,’ and it’s all ‘b.s cuz honestly why would he pick you? no offense.’ anyway, I’m not some dumb bitch, and know that the long distance thing isn’t the...
On family violence.
The other day my mom called the police on my 19 year old brother for shoving me and then slapping me in the head. I’d provoked the argument, yes, and it was a ridiculous sibling-type argument to begin with. I take full responsibility there. But did I deserve to be hit? No. The thing is, he’s hit me before and actually beaten me up. A couple of months ago he punched me in the nose and...
November 2009
76 posts
1 tag
On fun sized advice.
is it okay to use addiherol to lose weight .. ? Sure. Then again, it’s not okay to use drugs you can’t spell.
How do I turn a hook up into a relationship? How do you turn a hot wing into a chicken dinner?
i think i might be anorexic. Want a cookie?
where do you draw the line between good skinny and scary anorexic? I draw the line with a sharpie on your visible ribs.
should...
1 tag
On why we hate teenage girls.
I bet you anything you’re going to read this and beat your head against the wall as hard as I did.
I learned from a friend last night that apparently I wasn’t welcome in her grandmother’s house anymore. At Friend X’s 16th birthday party I’d popped off some black humor and her grandmother had thought I was being serious. She thought I was “acting superior”...
On practice making perfect.
First off, I respect you so much from the posts I’ve read! Secondly, I need some perspective. The problem is that sex just isn’t doing it for me. I feel like I only like the idea of sex. The first time I had sex, well, it didn’t last long since we were both really young and new to it, but after he got a bit of a tolerance and it lasted longer it never lived up to my expectations....
1 tag
On making a decision.
I’m very indecisive when it comes to trivial matters, to the point that I always get what the person in front of me in line at lunch orders. Now, I suppose this isn’t a trivial matter, but… can you choose for me? Because I know it’s not love, but I very much like both of them: 1) A brilliant writer with an agenda and a car, 2) A sweet poet with much too much love for the...
1 tag
On attention deficit dating.
I have a bit of a guilt problem right now. I’m a serial monogamist, with an emphasis on serial – I’ll stay with a guy for a few weeks or so at a time. It’s sex with the benefits of friendship, cuddling, staying the whole night, etc. I start out genuinely liking the guy, but after a while I get bored and move on or let things die down. This pattern is perfect for me physically and emotionally.
The...
On virginity with an asterisk.
When I was about 8 I was molested by a close relative who was in his teens. Nine years have passed and I have accepted the past abuse. I’m ready for sex. But before that, I wanted your opinion on something: How the fuck do I describe myself to those who ask about my history? Am I a never-been-touched virgin because I had a terrible if any grasp on what sex really is when I was 8? Do I not...
On simple solutions.
I’m a quiet kind of girl. I’m perfectly happy spending my Friday night with my cat, my bubbler, and some Pete Townshend. But every so often I get bored enough to want to go out and go to parties. It’s not to hard to find one around here, since my town was built from drunk 17 year-olds and pot. The problem is, none of my friends ever expect me to want to go out and party, and I...
1 tag
On harm vs. damage.
My friend showed me this blog just a few days ago. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I can’t stop reading it but I’m incredibly intrigued by your perspectives on different life circumstances, etc. I really admire your often empowered and empowering stance, and I especially think that some of the advice you give women and young women is really important for people to hear (not just...
1 tag
On pimp slap follow-through.
I’m the girl from “pimpin’ not being easy”. I broke up with the kid. We were only together for 5 days. He got really sad and is now making his aim and facebook statuses depressing shit, obviously so I can see it. “attempting the recooperation”, “but ain’t the devil happy”, “depressed”… It’s pissing me off cause it is...
1 tag
On priorities.
A year and a half ago, I moved to Berlin. I had been out of high school for four days and decided to delay higher education at a school I had no interest in attending in order to take drugs, dance, and sleep around. I was supposed to go back to New York in August, but decided to stay here instead, in large part because I fell ridiculously in love.
My parents weren’t pleased, but I told them...
On not holding your peace.
I’ll make this quick, me and my friend are both in the military, he’s about to go to afghan, he’s not even 21 yet. He’s about to get married. Call me an optimst but of all those facts the one I’m worried about is the fact that he’s about to get married. To a girl I honestly think I could fuck if we were both drunk enough. Dude won’t listen, gimmie a course...
On calling her out.
I have a close friend who has been in the same relationship for most of her young life (we’re in college). She frequently talks about marrying her boyfriend after we graduate, and has pictures of them together plastered all over her room (she jokingly calls it “a shrine” to him, but that’s pretty close to the truth).
However, she frequently cheats on him. I have read what...
On finally ending it.
Me and my girlfriend of almost three years broke up. Our first year together was the happiest year of my life. I confessed I was bi six months into the relationship and she was okay with it. We moved in together. We were madly in love, we probably had less than three arguments at the time, and then her mom died.
It broke her heart. I stayed with her through thick and thin and did everything I...
On pimpin' not being easy.
I’m not the serious relationship type of girl and I am more than satisfied with the variety of random hook ups and friends with benefits that keep me entertained. I had two friends with benefits going on, and one of them fell for me and asked me to be his girlfriend this weekend. I said yes, with a “why not?” kind of mentality, but only two days later I find myself bored and...
On online relationships.
Is an online relationship ever okay?
Sure. For a couple weeks. Then you have to get on the phone and set up a time to meet in person.
A romantic relationship can start online. The longer it stays there, the creepier it is.
On garden variety shyness.
I like reading your shit, because you have a different view on things then well, everyone I know. I’ve deduced that you’re around my mom’s age, and I think you and her share some ideals but somehow coming from you it’s just better. Anyway, I’m just 18 and in college. I (unlike my mom,) have a lot of trouble talking to people. I get all these thoughts and want to say...
On a lesson for the smart girl.
I’m a high schooler with a bit of of a reputation around the block. I try to keep it on the low, because I’m also one of the girls who whips out her copy of the Constitution for quizzing the teacher (I know, everyone hates that girl) and I really only go for guys who I can talk to about P.G. Wodehouse.
An acquaintance of mine who, although is not very pretty, has had a couple of...
On getting on with it.
I’m ten months into a relationship with a great boyfriend- he is non-judgmental, generous in bed, attentive but not needy, nice to my friends, polite to my family, etc. We’ve been doing long distance for about five months because we go to schools a few hours away from one another (so more of a long drive than long distance). Lately I’ve been really stressed and find myself...
On settling too soon.
I’ve been dating a guy for over a year and a half and we’ve really fallen in love with each other. I’m only 19 and we’re already talking about spending the rest of our lives together. He is all I could ever want in a partner, he’s ambitious, successful, 23, and we have great sex. I really can’t imagine ever breaking up with him but I feel like I’m settling...
On the long distance thing.
I’ve found my definition of “that guy.” He’s an explosive combination of all the things I wanted plus everything I never realized I needed — or at least never wanted to admit I needed. He chokes me when we fuck and buys me Diet Lemon Snapple because he knows it’s that, plus a morning key bump, that give me my extra burst. He calls me out on my shit and is almost...
1 tag
On girl meets boy.
Here’s the story: girl meets boy. girl likes boy. boy is out of her league. girl and boy become friends. better friends. best friends. girl falls in love with boy. girl overanalyzes everything that boy does. this causes drama. boy eventually walks away from friendship. girl and boy get back in contact. girl tries not to be passive agressive this time and just asks him what’s going on....
2 tags
On understanding suicide.
Three years ago my brother tried to commit suicide. He was fifteen then, which is how old I am now. A month ago he tried to kill himself again. He came home from the hospital a week ago, and I’m ecstatic to have him back again, but I’m also extremely angry at him. He didn’t see my mom just about die or my dad break down, or my sister fly halfway across the country to come home...
On enforcing your emotional space.
My dad just died after a particularly vicious battle with cancer. While I appreciate people’s condolences, I’m just sick of them. I’m sick of everyone I see bringing it up and asking me how I am. The truth is, I feel like shit. I watched my dad’s body rot for 3 years of my teenage life, and it wasn’t a picnic. I feel like everyone expects me to just be okay with it...
On my icon.
Who is the woman that is your icon for Dear Coke Talk? I’m so curious.
That is Miss Dolly Parton, O.G. diva bad-ass and living legend. She’s my icon in every sense of the word. They call her the iron butterfly, and women like Oprah and Martha Stewart learned everything they know about building a media empire from Dolly. At my fantasy dinner party, she sits next to Debbie Harry.
The...
On labels.
Do you consider yourself a feminist? Do you have an opinion on feminism and womens rights in general?
Again with the reductionist labels. Sure, I’m a feminist — whatever the fuck you think that means. It’s easier just to nod to a question like this than to get into a semantic argument.
If you insist on pigeonholing me, I’m also an upper-middle class professional bisexual...
1 tag
On keeping it edible.
When discussing oral sex, my boyfriend expresses open disgust at going down on a woman who isn’t clean and hair-free “down there” (His words, not mine). I have no problem with this seeing as I regularly get it waxed and have done so before meeting him. Anyway, he refuses to go down on me unless I’m “clean” which I completely understand and have no problem with....
On mysterious cold sores.
last night my roommate and i shared 2 joints. i woke up with a fucking cold sore on my lip. we never really share anything like drinks or clips very often..and i’m not going to lie, she’s slept around since she broke up with her boy this past july. i’ve been on a little bit of a dry spell this semester so i know some boy didn’t give me this damn coldsore. anyways…she...
1 tag
On acid.
My friend and I finally have an acid hook up, but I’m really nervous about it. I’ve tried robotripping which has been good, but i imagine this shit will be really intense, and I don’t want some 12 hour panic attack. So, to drop or not to drop?
Your only frame of reference for LSD is fucking cough syrup, so yeah. What do you want me to say?
I’m not going to make this...
1 tag
On being a kinky bastard.
I never have sex with my girlfriend because the things I want to do in bed are things that would make her break up with me. I don’t think she’s into Sasha Grey type porn, and I don’t want the police called on me for trying to find out.
Um, did you ever consider sitting down with your girlfriend and, you know… talking to her?
Use your words, big guy. Don’t assume...
1 tag
On putting him in his place.
I don’t have orgasms when I have sex. I’m honestly not that worried about it because I have a pretty damn good time regardless, but the guy I’m screwing right now has told me I am one of two girls he has ever slept with that couldn’t have one. First off, I really don’t believe this and I think he has just been fooled by a good fake orgasm one too many times. But...
On the friend who gets slapped around.
I really need this answered, ct. My friend’s been in a really destructive relationship for the past 3 years. Controlling, possessive, jealous freak, unreasonable, hits her, slaps her, you name it. But she still loves him, cliche i know. how the fuck do i convince her to leave him? last straw happened when he hit her last night for hanging out with me and my friends. wtf. any advice would be...
1 tag
On girl-on-girl.
Have you ever fucked a girl? And if so, are you bisexual, or just open in bed? Because I’ve always been interested in having a threesome, or foursome, or however many, but I’m not bisexual. Thoughts? Concerns?
The word fuck doesn’t seem right, but yes, I’ve embraced my bisexuality and had plenty of sex with women. I don’t label myself bi, but that’s because I...
2 tags
On one night stands.
i’m in college, i got blackout drunk and fucked this really adorable guy last night and he left his socks here. what do i do about that shit. in general, what are the rules on one night stands? sounds ridiculous, may still be a bit drunk, but i think you get it.
Nice.
First things first. It’s Sunday morning. Go have a Bloody Mary.
Now, as for the socks, throw ‘em in your dirty...
1 tag
On cock size.
As I imagine you’ve seen / fondled / stroked / inhaled / fucked your fair share of cocks, I turn to you for the truth. Mine measures 7” long by 5.75” in circumference. How do I measure up?
Thank you.
Unbelievable.
The entirety of your male ego — every male ego — is a house of cards built on a fault line of mere inches.
How do you measure up? Fuck you for asking, that’s...
1 tag
On sex toys.
I’m in college, haven’t had an orgasm yet, and want to get a vibrator so I can work on fixing that. Tips on choosing one? Brands, styles, how do I know I’m paying a reasonable price for reasonable quality?
I could ramble on about shopping for sex toys, but it sounds like you want to get down to the nitty gritty.
All you need to do is visit freddyandeddy.com. Look no further...
1 tag
On ex sex.
Probably not the best idea to be a fuck buddy with an ex with whom you still have feelings for right?
Good, earth shaking, familiar sex at the sake of playing emotional Russian roulette…
Sounds shaky to me, but pretty damn irresistible at the same time.
What do you think?
He’s not a fuck buddy. He’s an ex. He’ll never be a fuck buddy. You’re having good old...
On the worst kind of crazy.
I’m a bitch. More like a brat to be honest. I’m pretty sure my family has a history of being bi-polar (especially my mother) but it has never been diagnosed or treated. I think I inherited it. I’m just mean. I can’t put it any other way. I’m fucking selfish, spoiled and disinterested. I always easily make friends who really care about me and then, without realizing what I’m doing, I make them...
1 tag
On bad sex.
I’ve been in a whole two relationships before in my life, so I am aware that I am no expert and completely inexperienced. If I wasn’t I wouldn’t be wasting your time. So a little background info as short as I can make for you: First relationship- deadbeat boyfriend that ended up moving into my house because he was poor, pathetic, and quite possibly was just that crazy and...
On threesomes.
I go to a fairly small extremely liberal college and am in a serious relationship. My boyfriend and I want to have a threesome with another woman. The only problem is that I, being fairly quiet but not shy, have no idea how to make this happen, and happen in a way that won’t be exceptionally awkward for the rest of my time at this tiny school. My boyfriend would do the choosing and the...
1 tag
On yet another shallow cunt.
I was in the top 15% of my highschool class. Now I’m in my 5th semester of college in NYC, have a mere 27 credits, and haven’t been to class since I turned 21. I’m constantly wallowing in existential angst, terribly unmotivated to grow up and get a normal job, and an inch too short to be a model. I’m thinking of just becoming a secretary, dressing provocatively then suing...
1 tag
On getting out of the closet.
Ok here goes, I cheat on my wife with random hook ups with men. I usually just get blown. I fucked a guy twice. I just do it for the release since I get nothing at home. Your thoughts?
Listen up, Congressman. Stop cheating on your wife with anonymous dudes. It’s super creepy.
If you’re trapped in a loveless marriage, get the fuck out — in this case even if you have kids. You’ll...
1 tag
On damaged goods.
I can’t tell if I’m his therapist, or his girlfriend. What do I do?
Do you have kids together? Are you in love? No? Break up with him. Life is too short. Go find someone remarkable.
1 tag
On being more specific.
When I get home from school and change my clothes, I often find blobs of white goo on my inner thighs. What’s wrong with me?
Um, this really depends on whether you’re a guy or a girl.
On sugar daddies.
I am 22 and a girl and I would like to find an older gentleman who could help out with the bills. How do I go about that?
Sign up at seekingarrangement.com. Treat it like any other job.
On high school.
I’m in love with my best friend and I have been for about a year or so. Problem is, he’s had a girlfriend for about four months now. I respect that, and it’s not like I’m not gonna move in on that. But I need to get over him somehow, and the easiest way is to find another guy. Well, this should be all fine and dandy, because at 16, I’m bored, single, and almost able...
On being rude.
I’m seeing someone who is not exclusive with me and lies to me. Do you think when I cut things off with him, to use the phrase, “I don’t think you deserve me.” or “you’re not good enough for me.”, would be entirely too rude?
Sweetie, you’re not being rude enough.
Short of giving his best friend a blowjob, there’s very little you could do to...
1 tag
On bad news.
I am in the breaking-bad-news business lately. what is the best way to bring up sad or uncomfortable news that minimizes shock and judgment and maximizes patience and understanding?
Hmm… are you firing people, or is this a “you might want to get yourself tested” type situation?
In either case, just get it over with. Be respectful. Be brief. Be direct. Make sure it’s...