January 2011
60 posts
1 tag
On fun sized advice.
Is it ever appropriate to ask a man if he loves you? Sweetie, if you have to ask…
Do you vajazzle? Don’t be ridiculous.
Are you Banksy? I said don’t be ridiculous.
Are you Janice Dickinson? Are you fucking kidding me? That trainwreck is old enough to be my mother. Besides, narcissists don’t write advice columns. Especially not from rehab.
When do you draw the line and...
December 2010
104 posts
On fun sized advice.
Is it ever appropriate to ask a man if he loves you? Sweetie, if you have to ask…
Do you vajazzle? Don’t be ridiculous.
Are you Banksy? I said don’t be ridiculous.
Are you Janice Dickinson? Are you fucking kidding me? That trainwreck is old enough to be my mother. Besides, narcissists don’t write advice columns. Especially not from rehab.
When do you draw the line and...
On all there is to say.
I did something stupid. I was drunk tonight and I emailed some random guy I talked to on a chat room nude pictures of myself. Nude’s too nice a word. I was naked. I’m so worried that he’s going to splash them over the internet now, you can’t fully see my face but I’m worried that if you knew me you’d recognise me. What can I do??? I know that I’ve been a...
On all there is to say.
I did something stupid. I was drunk tonight and I emailed some random guy I talked to on a chat room nude pictures of myself. Nude’s too nice a word. I was naked. I’m so worried that he’s going to splash them over the internet now, you can’t fully see my face but I’m worried that if you knew me you’d recognise me. What can I do??? I know that I’ve been a...
On trust and privacy.
He snooped and read my diary and found some pretty dicey stuff about how I feel about our relationship (e.g. not sure he’s the guy for me)…. Then he broke into my facebook and found my flirtations with an old ex whom I have no intentions with that meant nothing, but now I’m just pissed that he violated my privacy. I’m paying for it—we’re fighting. I realize it’s wrong to strike up an emotional...
On trust and privacy.
He snooped and read my diary and found some pretty dicey stuff about how I feel about our relationship (e.g. not sure he’s the guy for me)…. Then he broke into my facebook and found my flirtations with an old ex whom I have no intentions with that meant nothing, but now I’m just pissed that he violated my privacy. I’m paying for it—we’re fighting. I realize it’s wrong to strike up an emotional...
On poop.
Why the fuck do some sexist, misogynist men and self loathing women think by any stretch of logic that women don’t poop?
Ugly girls poop, but pretty girl poop is a myth. Only eighties music and rainbow sherbet comes out of our butts.
(Chill out, stinky. This kind of ridiculousness deserves to be laughed at. You need to have a sense of humor, otherwise when real sexism and misogyny crop up,...
On my drunk style fans.
I’m drunk and as such, I have some fabulous advice for Whore Talk.
Any fashion hag can reblog runway pictures. What we want from you is interpretation. We want beautiful photographs, pictures of your actual outfits (we already know you’re light-skinned and fucking skinny, so you’ve got nothing to lose), and some of your fashion philosophies.
Most of us can’t afford to buy...
1 tag
On new years eve.
What’s up with the collective disinterest in NYE this year? A shared coming of age for those claiming to be newly minted as mature? “It’s a recession, yo” (hardly seems to be the case with economic success to the few at all-time highs)?
It’s almost January, mid 60s and sunny (my half-hearted condolences to anyone on the other side facing torrential cold), coming off...
On finding a good time.
How does a traveling business man have a good time when always traveling? Need some new ideas.
You’re on tour. Act like it.
If you don’t know how to do that, find your nearest local joint with touring live acts. It could be a rock club, a comedy club, whatever.
That’s where you’ll find folks who are actually on tour, and since we’re talking about musicians and...
On taking the high road.
Dear CT, I just got an email from one of my best female friends dropping the bombshell that she’s dating my sister’s ex (who only finished with my sister a couple of months ago and has constantly slated her publically since). To add insult to injury, she was a real dick about it, saying she thought she’d “be kind and wait till after Christmas to tell me” and that she...
On taking the high road.
Dear CT, I just got an email from one of my best female friends dropping the bombshell that she’s dating my sister’s ex (who only finished with my sister a couple of months ago and has constantly slated her publically since). To add insult to injury, she was a real dick about it, saying she thought she’d “be kind and wait till after Christmas to tell me” and that she...
On finding a good time.
How does a traveling business man have a good time when always traveling? Need some new ideas.
You’re on tour. Act like it.
If you don’t know how to do that, find your nearest local joint with touring live acts. It could be a rock club, a comedy club, whatever.
That’s where you’ll find folks who are actually on tour, and since we’re talking about musicians and...
On being vague.
If you lived with an extremely codependent parent that crippled you with their love and refused to change their ways despite the obvious harm it is doing, what would you do? I realize that is vague but there are too many extraneous circumstances to account for.
First of all, you can’t be crippled by an emotion unless you’re the one doing it to yourself. Love isn’t crippling you,...
On being vague.
If you lived with an extremely codependent parent that crippled you with their love and refused to change their ways despite the obvious harm it is doing, what would you do? I realize that is vague but there are too many extraneous circumstances to account for.
First of all, you can’t be crippled by an emotion unless you’re the one doing it to yourself. Love isn’t crippling you,...
On how.
I just started reading your blog, and I’ve noticed a pattern: people write to you with a seemingly one-dimensional question, and you answer by pointing out more underlying issues. You say things like “deal with your intimacy issues”, or “stop being so afraid”, but my question is HOW?
Are there some sort of exercises one is supposed to do to no longer seek attention...
On how.
I just started reading your blog, and I’ve noticed a pattern: people write to you with a seemingly one-dimensional question, and you answer by pointing out more underlying issues. You say things like “deal with your intimacy issues”, or “stop being so afraid”, but my question is HOW?
Are there some sort of exercises one is supposed to do to no longer seek attention...
On getting and being gotten.
I feel like it will literally take me the rest of my life to find some guy that actually “gets” me. Like a guy that understands why I make shirts that say “Come at me bro” and drive around with a deer skull mounted on my dashboard and doesn’t think I’m a fraheek at a cursory glance. Will I ever meet someone in high school that won’t take my preoccupation...
On getting and being gotten.
I feel like it will literally take me the rest of my life to find some guy that actually “gets” me. Like a guy that understands why I make shirts that say “Come at me bro” and drive around with a deer skull mounted on my dashboard and doesn’t think I’m a fraheek at a cursory glance. Will I ever meet someone in high school that won’t take my preoccupation...
1 tag
On not seeing the point.
He’s trying to get to know me, but I just want to fuck. Why do guys insist on going through this phase? I just don’t see a point unless you’re looking for something serious.
Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you’re a beautiful and interesting human being worth knowing beyond your vagina who somehow doesn’t quite grasp that the delicious complexity of...
On my drunk style fans.
I’m drunk and as such, I have some fabulous advice for Whore Talk.
Any fashion hag can reblog runway pictures. What we want from you is interpretation. We want beautiful photographs, pictures of your actual outfits (we already know you’re light-skinned and fucking skinny, so you’ve got nothing to lose), and some of your fashion philosophies.
Most of us can’t afford to buy...
On when not to be polite.
As I was turning in my final on the last day of class today, my professor offered to go over my grade with me. Long story short, he pointed to the only D I have received thus far (otherwise all A’s) and said verbatim “What happened here? You should be embarrassed. I should spank you for this. You you’d probably like that, right?” I was dumbfounded, chuckled...
On when not to be polite.
As I was turning in my final on the last day of class today, my professor offered to go over my grade with me. Long story short, he pointed to the only D I have received thus far (otherwise all A’s) and said verbatim “What happened here? You should be embarrassed. I should spank you for this. You you’d probably like that, right?” I was dumbfounded, chuckled...
1 tag
On fun sized advice.
Why cant I have my cake and eat it too? Exactly.
i fell in love with someone on tumblr what should i do? Tumble on.
So as of right now, are you the White Swan, Black Swan, or Dying Swan? It’s an inseparable trinity. I’m all three. Always have been, always will be.
Who taught you your party tricks? I was reading your blog and passed the post on how to insert ecstasy in a...
On ye of little faith.
Perhaps Whore Talk wasn’t the best idea. People have their own pictures in their heads of you- and different people like to envision you in different ways. I, for example, have always pictured you as edgy, sexy and a little dirty. Having seen your style site, I now have a revolting image of you as flitty bohemian blonde in sparkles and fanny packs. So NOT hot.
I totally wish I’d never...
On ye of little faith.
Perhaps Whore Talk wasn’t the best idea. People have their own pictures in their heads of you- and different people like to envision you in different ways. I, for example, have always pictured you as edgy, sexy and a little dirty. Having seen your style site, I now have a revolting image of you as flitty bohemian blonde in sparkles and fanny packs. So NOT hot.
I totally wish I’d never...
On being jerked around.
Ok well my boyfriend broke up with me a month ago because his depression made him feel he wasn’t able to fully commit to a relationship. Now after we broke up I’ve talked to two guys and he’s become very jealous. He and I still talk very much. Now I really like this new guy, but not to date just like fool around with because Im single. This dude is leaving in one month to the...
On modesty.
Is modesty important? And is there a difference between modesty and humbleness?
Being modest is for winners. Being humble is for losers. They are both merely ego states that imply cultural status, so ultimately neither is that important.
Still, they have their use in matters of diplomacy.
On fun sized advice.
Why cant I have my cake and eat it too? Exactly.
i fell in love with someone on tumblr what should i do? Tumble on.
So as of right now, are you the White Swan, Black Swan, or Dying Swan? It’s an inseparable trinity. I’m all three. Always have been, always will be.
Who taught you your party tricks? I was reading your blog and passed the post on how to insert ecstasy in a...
On modesty.
Is modesty important? And is there a difference between modesty and humbleness?
Being modest is for winners. Being humble is for losers. They are both merely ego states that imply cultural status, so ultimately neither is that important.
Still, they have their use in matters of diplomacy.
On not seeing the point.
He’s trying to get to know me, but I just want to fuck. Why do guys insist on going through this phase? I just don’t see a point unless you’re looking for something serious.
Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you’re a beautiful and interesting human being worth knowing beyond your vagina who somehow doesn’t quite grasp that the delicious complexity of...
On being jerked around.
Ok well my boyfriend broke up with me a month ago because his depression made him feel he wasn’t able to fully commit to a relationship. Now after we broke up I’ve talked to two guys and he’s become very jealous. He and I still talk very much. Now I really like this new guy, but not to date just like fool around with because Im single. This dude is leaving in one month to the...
On pity sex.
Is it wrong to have sex with someone just because you know they really want to have sex with you? A literal sexual favor? I know this question makes me sound like a douche, but there’s this really nice guy that I’m just not interested in, and he never gets laid and has sort of a low opinion of himself. I feel like having sex with me would be good for him. Thoughts?
If you have sex...
On pity sex.
Is it wrong to have sex with someone just because you know they really want to have sex with you? A literal sexual favor? I know this question makes me sound like a douche, but there’s this really nice guy that I’m just not interested in, and he never gets laid and has sort of a low opinion of himself. I feel like having sex with me would be good for him. Thoughts?
If you have sex...
On dueling christmases.
Last minute Christmas conundrum, so if you manage to answer this in time, you’ll be my personal Jesus this year.
Like a lot of American twentysomethings, I have a nontraditional family. I have my mom and my stepdad on one hand, and then I have my best friend and her parents who let me live with them when my mom took a long ride down the bipolar express lane in high school. Since my mom...
On dueling christmases.
Last minute Christmas conundrum, so if you manage to answer this in time, you’ll be my personal Jesus this year.
Like a lot of American twentysomethings, I have a nontraditional family. I have my mom and my stepdad on one hand, and then I have my best friend and her parents who let me live with them when my mom took a long ride down the bipolar express lane in high school. Since my mom...
On christmas spirit.
This holiday season is killing me.
For some reason, this year the Christmas lights and the shoppers and the music are bothering me more than they ever have.
I told my mom I didn’t like Christmas anymore and she just started crying, so I can’t realistically renounce the holiday…
Do I just need to get over myself and go with it?
Apologize to your mother. Tell her you were in a...
On christmas spirit.
This holiday season is killing me.
For some reason, this year the Christmas lights and the shoppers and the music are bothering me more than they ever have.
I told my mom I didn’t like Christmas anymore and she just started crying, so I can’t realistically renounce the holiday…
Do I just need to get over myself and go with it?
Apologize to your mother. Tell her you were in a...
On discretion.
I recently became a cam girl. It’s fucking awesome. I get paid lots of money for very little work and it’s great to have guys ADORE my body.
I let three people know about this, all close friends of mine. One of them is someone who once had her own naked Tumblr, so I thought she of all people would “”get it.”” But she’s actually being kind of a bitch about...
On discretion.
I recently became a cam girl. It’s fucking awesome. I get paid lots of money for very little work and it’s great to have guys ADORE my body.
I let three people know about this, all close friends of mine. One of them is someone who once had her own naked Tumblr, so I thought she of all people would “”get it.”” But she’s actually being kind of a bitch about...
On the center of the universe.
I’d think that the idea that one is at the center of the universe is a far worse delusion than belief in a supernatural deity.
In a universe as infinitely vast as the one in which we live, the irrational belief that any supernatural deity would give the slightest fuck about your pathetic existence is the very essence of putting oneself at the center of it.
On the center of the universe.
I’d think that the idea that one is at the center of the universe is a far worse delusion than belief in a supernatural deity.
In a universe as infinitely vast as the one in which we live, the irrational belief that any supernatural deity would give the slightest fuck about your pathetic, meaningless existence is the very essence of putting oneself at the center of it.
On being certain.
I was reading some of your posts from the last few months and I see that in some of them you mention Rene Descartes and i also see that you seem absolutely certain that there is no god. Now if there is one thing i cant stand on this planet it is religous cunts that abandon reason, that being said, i still feel that there is reason to think that there could be a possibility of some diety like god...
On the difference.
What’s the difference between a whore and a prostitute?
Whores put a price on their principles for personal gain. Prostitutes just put a price on sex. People who think prostitutes are whores are the kind of people whose principles are based between their legs.
On the difference.
What’s the difference between a whore and a prostitute?
Whores put a price on their principles for personal gain. Prostitutes just put a price on sex. People who think prostitutes are whores are the kind of people whose principles are based between their legs.
1 tag
On more fun sized advice.
Why do smart, beautiful women get stuck in abusive relationships (physical and emotional)? Because brains and beauty ain’t got shit to do with crazy.
Chloë Sevigny or Liv Tyler? Liv Tyler.
How can I fit more lizards in my pumpkin? You’re gonna need a pair of pliers and a set of thirty weight ball bearings.
Why do douchebag republicans want to take abortion rights away? Because they...
On more fun sized advice.
Why do smart, beautiful women get stuck in abusive relationships (physical and emotional)? Because brains and beauty ain’t got shit to do with crazy.
Chloë Sevigny or Liv Tyler? Liv Tyler.
How can I fit more lizards in my pumpkin? You’re gonna need a pair of pliers and a set of thirty weight ball bearings.
Why do douchebag republicans want to take abortion rights away? Because they...
On comparing cities.
There’s some crappy movie I can’t recall that nonetheless has a quote that has stuck with me: San Francisco is for people with talent but no ambition. Los Angeles is for people with ambition but no talent. New York is for people with talent AND ambition. Thoughts?
It’s a snarky way for New Yorkers to reinforce their narcissism while calling San Franciscans lazy and Los Angelenos...
On comparing cities.
There’s some crappy movie I can’t recall that nonetheless has a quote that has stuck with me: San Francisco is for people with talent but no ambition. Los Angeles is for people with ambition but no talent. New York is for people with talent AND ambition. Thoughts?
It’s a snarky way for New Yorkers to reinforce their narcissism while calling San Franciscans lazy and Los Angelenos...
On selling your innocence.
Hey Coketalk, first time caller here. So I was offered $780 for my virginity from a guy I have never met. Should I consider this? I mean, I just want to lose my virginity and be done with it, but then again I’d be a whore.
You’d be a prostitute, not a whore, and while $780 is an average take for a private dancer doing an hour at a bachelor party in Vegas, it’s kind of a low rent...