October 2010
39 posts
2 tags
On the point of relationships.
What’s the point of relationships? If the initial high is temporary and then you stick together until you hate each other so much that you cheat or break up, then what’s the point? Is there ever a time when people find someone they really love?
The human condition is a fun ride, but don’t ever forget that we’re all just a bunch of talking meat wrapped around a sack of warm...
On american english.
Sorry to correct you on your spelling, but grammar, puctuation and spelling seem to be pretty important to you, shouldn’t it be ‘tractor tyre’ and not ‘tire’?
Sweetheart, I live in Los Angeles, not Narnia.
Good lookin’ out, though. Say hey to Tumnus for me.
On an asshole.
I fucking hate my roommate. I fucked her twice. She was annoying before I fucked her. But now, she is the epoch of annoying. Shes younger (21), not particularly mature, attention seeking, and trashy as a tractor tire. When she speaks my skin crawls. This is a whole other universe of confronting ‘the real’. I’m not exclusive in this assessment either, our other roommate agrees....
September 2010
34 posts
1 tag
On his girl best friend.
I recently started dating this guy. Things have been going great so far - near perfect. The only thing is, his best friend is a girl. A girl he used to have sex with. And cheat on his girlfriends in high school with (we’re both in college now). And she’s still “in love” with him. He still says “I love you” to her as well, but he swears it’s just as a...
1 tag
On getting things done.
I may or may not be in like with someone I’ve previously hooked up with who now has a girlfriend. He’s an idiot who knows his girlfriend is a whore and cheats on him constantly, yet has not dumped the bitch. He knows I’m better than her and my heart aches every day because the man I want to be with is with a whore. HELP.
Fuck them both and have a sandwich.
On being ignorant.
In reference to your recent ‘advice’ (If that’s what you’d want to call it), I’d just like to say that nobody can really have a definite answer to the big God-existence-question. Not me, not you, not anybody. It’s not your place to tell somebody they’re wrong when they have just about as much credibility as the next person’s belief on the...
On disrespecting god.
I am a beautiful, intelligent, confident, and capable 18 year old girl (or woman… fuck if I know). I have beautiful eyes and lips but my huge-as-fuck nose throws it all off. It isn’t RIDICULOUSLY huge, but having a straight and petite nose would lead me to resemble the spawn of Brangelina. I’m risking sounding like a vain douchebag so you know that I’m not a whiny and...
On starfucking.
A few weeks ago I recognized a guy sitting by himself at the bar who is kind of a local celebrity. I was a few drinks in, so I went over and said “hey aren’t you____?” He invited me to sit down and we talked for hours, he bought me a drink, and it was a lot of fun. I don’t really ever deliberately flirt with anyone, and I didn’t think I was flirting with him very...
1 tag
On your dream job.
i am a great photographer. I have a kick ass eye for …well shit, everything (it’s the one thing i can brag about.) It’s my dream job. Unfortunately, it is not my 9-5, and I have a mortgage etc, which my day job supports. Am I stuck? or do I risk it all on my “eye”? i know… i don’t know you, and don’t worry (not that you would) I am not going to base...
1 tag
On bullshit drama.
I have a friend who is incredibly self conscious, and can only say bad things about herself. I’m constantly reassuring her that there’s nothing wrong with her, but its come to a point where I don’t know if I can be her psychiatrist anymore. If I stop helping her, though, I’m afraid she’ll hurt herself.
Her psychiatrist? Fuck you. Be her friend, or cut her out of your...
1 tag
On bad good girls.
Here’s the thing. I got royally fucked over by my boyfriend of three years a year or two ago. Since then, I’ve made the most of life. I drink, I smoke, I have sex with super hot guys and the closest I’ve come to a serious relationship was a third date. It’s fun while it lasts, but I find myself getting heart-broken when these guys move on, despite the fact I encourage them...
On your fat wife.
What’s the best approach to get my wife to lose weight? I’ve done all the obvious tactics, such as offering to work out together, buying a gym club membership, suggesting she try a personal trainer. And I’ve done this is as low-key manner as possible, as casually as possible and as nicely as possible because I like her and because I know this whole thing can backfire. Now, she...
1 tag
On killing mom with kindness.
Alright, so, I’m a seventeen year old girl and my mother isn’t too fond with the idea of me going camping with a few of my friends at a campsite 40 minutes away from where I live. She’s extremely religious and doesn’t like that there will be boys present. There will be no adult supervision, but I know that we all will be perfectly fine. How can I convince my mom to let...
On keeping both.
I have a long distance friend who I’m currently fucking. This past weekend, I screwed a different guy, and don’t know what to do, they’re both continuing to talk to me. When did guys actually start wanting to talk to the girls they’re casually fucking?
Right around the time girls realized it was perfectly acceptable to be fucking more than one guy at a time.
Relax, kiddo....
On changing the subject.
How can you tell a dear close friend that your not interested in listening their man drama without sounding like total cunt?
Look her in the eye and say, “Sweetheart, I love you, but we’re not going to talk about that right now.”
Be firm and polite, then promptly change the subject. She’s the one bringing bad vibes, and you’re just trying to keep the room positive.
...
On not getting the hint.
That’s where I’d have to disagree with you. I’m not a control freak, although I am jealous that he has those picture left in his phone. I came to you for advice, and you didn’t give me much of anything.
Yes, I did. I told you to slow your roll.
In other words, be cool and chill the fuck out. You don’t have any right to tell your boyfriend to delete pictures unless...
On some trifling shit.
My boyfriend has pictures of his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend still on his phone. He’s explained the situation that he hardly talks to either of them anymore, although he was involved very deeply and completely in these former relationships. The pictures bother me (example: his ex-wife in a sexy maid halloween outfit; his ex-girlfriend making that goddamn kissy face in a recent picture she sent...
On dealing with it.
Imagine yourself getting hot & heaving with a guy you really like. Sure you’ve only known each other for less than 24 hours, but the compatibility seems great so far. In the back of your mind, you think this could lead to something special. You’re taking his pants off. You see his uncircumcised dick. What the fuck do you do now?
Whatever. I keep wet naps in my purse.
1 tag
On eat, pray, love.
How do you feel about Eat, Pray, Love? The book, the movie, the phenomenon, the subsequent Newsweek human interest stories?
I resent the implication that I need to feel anything at all for Eat, Pray, Love.
Elizabeth Gilbert wrote a breezy little memoir that got anointed by Oprah, and now it’s a lifestyle brand for spiritually confused housewives. So what? She cashed in on her mid-life...
2 tags
On grammar.
you shouldn’t be such a bitch about grammar. only uppity 15 year old ‘gifted’ girls who reblog harry potter do that. as long as one is intelligible, whatever dude. some of the greatest writers of all time have ignored many facets of grammar. it doesn’t make you an idiot. it just means you are more right-brained, and those people are better writers anyways. grammar is the...
On freshman fantasies.
I’m a freshman at an incredibly liberal, change-the-world, dissolve-social-norms kind of school. It was my first choice and I was really excited when I got in. I was really excited when I got the financial aid. I was really excited all summer and I was really excited for the last three weeks, since I’ve been here. Today I found myself wishing I was “grown up”, married,...
1 tag
On gifts with strings attached.
Do you really think accepting gifts is okay even when you know they’re being used to buy a way into your affections?
It’s not just a dating thing either. I’ve had a casual acquaintances load me with expensive presents when they think (correctly) that I’m not really bonding with them, just to keep me from wandering off. If I refuse them, I’m rude, and if I accept...
1 tag
On being confused.
Truth is, I don’t want to be the one getting hurt. He is telling me to enjoy the presence. He also told me he wants to grow old with me.
I am confused.
He is telling you to enjoy the present, not the presence.
Of course you’re confused. You’re not very bright.
1 tag
On sixteen.
I’m sixteen and have never had a real relationship, just a bunch of mild drunken hook-ups. I don’t want to put time and effort into someone I’m not crazy about, but I’m afraid that when I actually have relationships, I’m always going to be the person who likes the other slightly more. Also, I have crushes on people I don’t know very well, so I can construct...
1 tag
On all there is to say.
I’m 19 and i’m seeing this guy, but all we do is fuck. We’ve been dating for about a month and he knows nothing about me. Whenever we hang out all we do is have sex and then he sort of ignores me until I have to leave and then begs me to stay. The fucked up part is that he told me that he loved me about 3 weeks into the relationship (I don’t believe him). What’s this...
On bad dating.
I started dating a guy recently. From OKCupid. We get along well, we have similar interests, values and senses of humor. Dates have been fun! The first one was awesome! The second was good! Last night was…good at dinner, sort of. And he gave me a jokey gift. I hate when guys give gifts early on. I forgot it in his car…
The main thing: his apartment is NASTY. Not that he’s a...
1 tag
On keeping your conscience.
I wish I was a sociopath. Every day, something happens in my life that makes me feel guilt or shame…and most of the time they’re small things like accidentally stepping on someone’s foot after losing balance in the subway. But they follow me around all day, it’s so obnoxious! Afterwards, I always wish that I could somehow throw my conscience out the window while still...
1 tag
On tanning while pregnant.
Should I go indoor tanning while pregnant, or will that harm the baby?
Wow. Really? It’s a tanning bed, not a microwave.
Also, if you thought there was an actual risk to your baby, wouldn’t this be the kind of stupid question you should ask your doctor instead of some party girl on the internet? You have a doctor, right?
Ugh. Fifty bucks says you’ve already referred to your...
On self-realization.
Do you feel like a strong and self-realized man could still be against open relationships? Or is that by definition impossible to you?
Chill out, vanilla bean. Don’t get all snippy because you’re on team monogamy.
Self-realization isn’t about a particular belief system. It’s about being in tune with who you are. It’s about a certain awareness and fulfillment of...
1 tag
On the perils of an open marriage.
My husband and I wanted to try and open our relationship. We were fine for a bit, but now he seems really jealous. He doesn’t want to be open anymore which is fine. He can’t seem to get over my having sex with other men. He says its different for men then women. He can no longer look at me the same. Any ideas on how to fix this?
Which part do you want fixed, your marriage or the...
1 tag
On rape fantasy.
I am a self-respecting woman in a happy relationship based on mutual trust & respect. When I masturbate, I fantasize about being treated like an object. Head pushed down into someone’s lap; being taken home from a bar and asked to have a threesome; forced to do things I do not want to do. Shit I would be repulsed by/would not tolerate if it actually happened. Sometimes after getting off,...
2 tags
On trying long distance.
I’m trying a long-distance relationship for the first time. I really care about the girl, but I have always had a hard time keeping it in my pants. I’ve never really cheated - but in this instance I feel like it might eventually happen. Got any advice?
You’re asking a woman who is at this very moment doing her level fucking best to execute a dignified and graceful resolution to...
On sex and molly.
I am planning on taking Molly with my boyfriend this weekend, and I wanted to ask your thoughts on sex while rolling. I’ve heard the rumor that once you have sex on it, you don’t desire sex when you’re not rolling because it’s so amazing. So, my question is, if I fuck while rolling, will I still be able to enjoy sober sex as much as I do now?
You capitalized Molly, which...
On at-will employment.
I know this may sound silly, but Halloween has been my favorite holiday since I was a child and is still important to me. I work in the food industry and thinking ahead, I filled out a time off request form for my work and turned it in the week of August 17. I thought that given my forethought and consideration for my employer and boss, I would definitely have the day off, and I didn’t hear...