Dear Coquette,

How do you kill your ego?
Separate it from your consciousness.

How do I find my calling?
Look for purpose in what makes you happy.

I’m terrified of thinking about death. I can grasp it, yet can’t come to terms with it at the same time. What do I do?
Ask yourself, are you dead yet? If the answer is no, quit whining.

How is a celebrity divorce considered “breaking news”? Do people seriously care about these things?
Of course not, but schadenfreude is a hell of a drug.

Is it possible to be happy with a life you don’t really want?
Sure. You can be happy without being content, especially if you realize that your current circumstances are not the same thing as your life.

I have a teenage daughter. When do you think dating is appropriate?
1955.

Things have gotten so mundane for me that I’m about to make a 2012 vision board. Lame or productive?
Yes.

What advice do you have for a 15-year-old girl who shamelessly flirts with her 28-year-old teacher?
Hold off on your authority figure phase until college. Instead, get your bad boy phase out of the way now while it will do the least amount of damage.

Will Prozac help my bulimia?
Not if you throw it up.

Is revenge ever a good enough reason?
Not unless it happens to coincide with justice, and that’s a lot rarer than you’d think.

So, I have a problem. I can only hook up with guys when I am drunk. The prospect of hooking up sober scares me. How do I solve this?
With self-respect and maturity. Short of that, quit drinking.

What’s the difference between not “settling” and the Prince Charming syndrome?
It’s the difference between having high standards and having unreasonable expectations.

Is it ever morally too late to have an abortion?
Yes, but precisely when is a question every woman should be able to answer for herself while having access to safe, legal, and readily available reproductive health care.

How do I stop feeling so darned lost?
Feeling lost implies some sort of emotional, intellectual or physical destination. You’ll stop feeling lost when you realize that there is no destination. There is only the present moment.