I was date raped by a close friend a year ago. Because I don’t display the “usual” symptoms of a rape victim, my boyfriend questions whether it actually happened. (His words, not mine.) How can I make him understand that it really did happen to me and I just don’t want to think about it?

Your boyfriend is using denial as a coping mechanism. It’s easier for him to insultingly believe that it never happened than it is for him to process the truth emotionally.

Call your boyfriend out on his denial, and tell him how insulting it is for him not to believe you. Let him know that the truth does not obligate him to act on your behalf. In other words, you’re not asking him to go confront the rapist or defend your honor. All your asking for is understanding and respect.

While we’re at it, you’ve got a little denial going on too. Date rape? You use the term as if it somehow doesn’t have all the calories of the real thing. There is no Diet Rape or Rape Lite. Sweetheart, you were raped. You need to start processing the whole truth of that as well.